Random Thoughts

21 days into the new year of 2015 and so far I’m failing at all my New Year’s resolutions except one, possibly two (depends on how you look at it, to which I’m not inclined to elaborate on at this time). Naturally, the depression is there, as always, interfering with things here and there. Then there’s the having turned into a complete paranoid psycho thanks to all the secrets and lies in ‘life’. I was already crazy, now I’m down right off my rocker (and yes, I really do have a rocking chair)! (01.19.2015)

I know the Lord is watching over me, and Michael continues to assure me that I am strong enough to…“Its soapy pea, it cleans itself!” This is the given reason as to why it’s okay that my son goes pee in the shower and I shouldn’t feel the need to say “Ewe!”  that I was interrupted with… :[ (01.21.2015)

So, starting and finishing a post in the same day isn’t happening either; cross that off the list…kidding. Kind of. 😉 But I am serious about a couple of things regarding my future posts. For one thing, I haven’t been able to write any poetry lately, and after reading the ones I did manage to find inspiration to write I totally understand why. OMG!! I don’t think very highly of myself and I still give other people way too much power over  or of me. No wonder I’m a fricken head case! I look back at everything I’ve written, and with each reading I am flooded with memories of everything that was going on during that time. (That has to be, like, so awesome?!!) It really is. 🙂

I don’t know if I’m okay or not, I don’t anything beyond today. (Ha ha. Don’t give up, it’s only the first month and you’ve come a very long way. 🙂 )  Yeah. God’s plan was never promised to be an easy path, the exact opposite actually; but rewarded ten-fold. As cursed as parts of my life have been, the Blessings make it worth it and that makes me worth it. (Hey, that’s really good. New Favorite quote and it’s actually one of yours! 😀 ) Cool. I have to go for now, things to do. Tomorrow we’ll focus on this particular resolution a bit closer and get this post finished before this month ends. 😉 (01.29.2015)

Hmm, it is now Saturday evening. Yesterday simply got away from me. and today the family was out and about so Dad could pay the youngest son back some borrowed loot. 😉 Foster daughter Kyy has stopped by for a visit while she wait for Real Daddy to get home from work. The legist of my resolution is to start living with the truth I know and leave all the negativity in that drugged up, abusively manipulated, self-destructive fantasy world of lies and make-believe where it belongs. I got better things to do with my time. Gotta go. 🙂 ❤

 

♥ ~ Kyla ~

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